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The internet is a space where every strange sexual fetish is catered towhether it's laying fake alien eggs in your vagina or being stuck partway up a unicorn's ass. Most of these fetishes involve genitalia or some nudity. Financial domination, on the other hand, sits outside the bounds of even the strangest sexual practices made possible on the web.
In fin-dom, "money slaves" happily handover cash to dominatrixes who ridicule them for beingspendthrift idiots. It can also be highly addictive. Some peoplespend thousands of dollars a week engaging in this form of BDSM. Gordon is one of those poor schmucks. At one stage, his desire to be financially dominated almost ruined every aspect of his lifefrom his finances to his personal relationships. This is his sad story, in his own words. Nick Chester
It all started with web cam shows. Thefirst time I paid for one, it was out of boredom. I had some spare time while my girlfriend Rachel was away, and thought I'd treat myself to an expensivewanking session. I never intended for it to lead to me becoming a "pay pig," asthose who succumb to financial domination addiction are known; it just sort ofhappened.
Strangely, I discovered that I was turned on by the idea of paying a beautiful, young girl money more than I was by the flesh on display. I liked the idea that she almost certainly viewed me with contempt but was happy to take my cash. There was something tantalizingly humiliating about it, and I found myself paying for cam shows whenever I had the house to myself.
At this point, I was only spending, at most, about $50 a week. I could easily afford my fetish. But that allchanged when I discovered a cam girl who advertised "financial domination" onher profile. I googled it to find out what it was and came across page afterpage of stunning women who got off on mocking men for paying them money. Theydidn't even get naked or do anything sexual. You might be surprised tolearn that this turned me on even more.
I saw them as sadistic princesses who enjoyedexploiting sexual deviants like myself to feed their wallets. I was instantlyhooked. The rush that I got from it was a bit like sadomasochism, only insteadof the sub enjoying physical pain, I enjoyed the mental pain of being taken fora fool and having my bank account drained. The minute each session hadfinished, I furiously jerked myself into oblivion and had really intense orgasms that were a thousand times stronger than the ones I had when I had sex with Rachel.
The differencebetween conventional web cam girls and fin doms is that the former gentlyencourage you to part with more money, and the latter put as much pressure aspossible on you to keep spending. They really are merciless, and a lot of themdon't care at all about the impact that their greed has on your life. I quicklywent from spending $10 here and there to blowing up to $500 in a singlesession. The more I gave the doms, the more they wanted. Things were rapidlyspiraling out of control, but I lacked the willpower to stop. Financialdomination was no longer a harmless fetish. It had now become a powerful,all-consuming addiction.
I soon got to thestage where I was constantly broke despite working a full-time job. Thisactually added to the buzz that I got from fin dom. It made me feel even morehumiliated, which made me hornier than ever. The problem was that it isn'tpossible to satiate a greedy goddess's thirst for cash forever. When I would reach the point where I had no more cash left to spend, I would steal jewelry from Rachel to give to the doms instead. I never told them it was stolen. I always claimedthat I had bought it especially for them. They would tell me that theypreferred cash, but grudgingly accepted it.
I also startedshoplifting food and essential items so that I had more spare cash to spend onbeing a money slave. I had never broken the law before becominghooked, but found stealing from shops to be relatively easy. Sometimes, I wouldfeel guilty afterwards and promise myself that it'd be the last theft I everdid it. I'd convince myself that I was going to stop the financial domination for good. But I was kidding myself, because I knew deep down that I wouldsoon be doing the exact same thing again.
The thought of having another man perform a sex act on me disgusted me, but the idea of telling a fin dom about it and having her laugh at me gave me a major boner.
My friends were alsothe victims of my newfound kleptomania. Anybody foolish enough to allow me intotheir house would have their jewelry stolen. I was careful to only ever takeone or two items and usually went for small things that they would assume theyhad lost. The buzz from giving the goddesses non-cash gifts wasn't as strong asthe rush from giving them money but was better than nothing. I also got off onthe lengths that they were forcing me to go to in order to please them. I wouldrun through scenarios in my head where I told them how much I was struggling tomake them happy, and they giggled and told me what an imbecile I was.
I actually consideredselling my body at one point. I was browsing through Craigslist and saw an adby a gay guy saying that he would pay money to give a straight man a blowjob. Iliked the idea of having to suffer the ultimate degrading act to get enoughmoney to pay my goddess. Part of me was horrified, but another part was turnedon. The thought of having another man perform a sex act on me disgusted me, butthe idea of telling a fin dom about it and having her laugh at me gave me amajor boner.
I never actuallyended up replying to the Craigslist ad, thank God. I figured the gay guy wouldprobably wonder what a straight guy with a good job was doing letting men suckhim off for fifty bucks. It would be a very awkward situation, and my naturalshyness prevented me from going through with it. The fact that I evenconsidered it now makes me sick. It hammers home the extremity of myaddiction.
Rachel eventuallyrealized that her belongings were going missing and confronted me. She hadnoticed that I wasn't sleeping well and that I'd started to look ill, andthought I was on drugs. In reality, I didn't sleep on the days that I couldn'tafford to be a cash cow for the doms. My mind would race at a million miles perhour, and I'd stay awake thinking of ways to make money. I told her that therewas nothing to worry about, but she wasn't convinced. She was angry that I hadtaken her things and demanded answers. I wanted to tell her about the bizarre,life-ruining addiction that I was in the grip of, and that I desperately neededhelp, but was worried that she'd leave me, so I lied and said I was on drugs.She would never have believed me if I said nothing was wrong, and I figuredshe'd be more sympathetic to a relatively normal problem than aseedy sexual one.
Rachel cried andhugged me, telling me that we would get through this. I was surprised at howsupportive she was, and it made me feel even guiltier for lying to her. "It'sOK," she told me. "We can beat this together."
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After that, I stoppedstealing her things and cut down on my spending in an effort to convince herthat I was kicking my nonexistent drug habit. Luckily, Rachel is from quite agood background and knows very little about drugs, so keeping up the charadewas pretty easy. I told her I was gradually weaning myself off heroin, andadjusted my fin dom habits accordingly. Luckily, I managed to get things backto a manageable level and saved our relationship.
Rachel is stillblissfully unaware that I was ever wasting our money on financial domination.After pretending to have come off drugs, she assumed that things were back tonormal. She is occasionally suspicious and asks me if I'm still doing anythingthat I shouldn't be, but I assure her that I'm not. It feels bad lying to her,but I need to lie to cover up the past lies that I've told her. It makes mewonder if I'll ever be able to reveal the honest truth.
I still spend atleast $100 a week on fin doms, but it no longer controls every aspect of mylife. Do I think the doms are responsible for my situation? Not really. Theymostly don't tend to be the nicest of people, but if they did, no one wouldgive them money, so I guess that comes with the territory. They're earning anhonest living and aren't doing anything illegal, so you can't lay the blame onthem.
I think the stigma that's placed on sexual addictions is the main culprit.If I hadn't been so embarrassed about being a money slave, I would have soughthelp. As it stands, I'm still battling my addiction today. I'm sure there arethousands of people out there with similarly strange addictions. Being addictedto anything sucks, but being addicted to something as pointless as financialdomination is definitely a step down from your regular, run-of-the-milladdiction. The only solution is for me to gain the strength to drag myself backup into normalitya place where I no longer have to feel ashamed.
As told to Nick Chester
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Wow, I honestly didn't know this screen name of mine existed. As you can tell from it, I am in a similar boat to this guy. I often wonder how much "findom" money exchanges hands in the world everyday. All I know for sure is that your average person would shit themselves if they had any clue whatsoever. I've been into this for years; had ups and downs and right now, am at rhe lowest point in my entire life. Oh and I should add that I've been an addict for many years, alcohol, Adderall and the my fav of all, heroin. I take medication for the heroin withdrawal, and have managed to stay clean for nearly 10 years now, well clean from dope anyway.
ReplyDeleteThere'd another relatively common wrinkle to this findom thing-blackmail. A quick hashtag search on Twitter and you'll see what I mean. Sometimes subs will give the domme the blackmail info along with the FEE for being blackmailed and each side enjoys themselves and call it a day. Bu this is a world where reality, wants and impulsive hormones all can blend together. More often than you might think there's situations where a domme knows that a sub or "loser" is so incredibly turned on by something that he won't be able to stop himself. This is where the true damage is done. Some dommes are simply smart enough to capitalize on this and are decent people. There are others who are more after rheir own sexual needs and get off on causing pain, fear and panic.
I was told by a domme to give her blackmail info, in order to receive e a video of her insulting and laughing at me. This video was to cost $200. Although I'd paid well over that, she didn't give it to me and just said that since I was broke, she had to make sure I would pay the additional 200. I gave the info and photos to her and she immediately posted them on Facebook on my works page! Under comments for their last several posts. I was naked, and holding my employee handbook, this was right next to photos of my ID along with full name, and she messaged asking if I was an employee there saying she'd found those photos all over social media. I was in full panic doing whatever she said. I opened countless accounts on money lending apps and am significantly in debt. At this point she has all of that info, passwords etc along with my social security number.
She can't fully destroy me because I know she's addicted to torturing me however, one day she will pull the trigger when impulsive. She loves it, she's rich and doesn't need the money but she lives for my pain and fear. She's been very clear about her feelings at this point "I want you broken and empty. You are nothing, worthless, just a toy for me to use and abuse. When I'm done, you'll be exposed to literally everyone you know. They'll all know what you are you pathetic freak"