Tuesday, July 26, 2016

The Best and Worst Celebrity Speeches of the DNC’s First Night

The opening night of the Democratic National Convention may have been as fraught with party tension as last week's calamitous Republican National Convention—but comparing the star wattage of the conventions' speakers thus far is not unlike comparing a box of chocolate truffles to a bag of flaming dog shit.

Consider the evidence: whereas the RNC's first night featured a forgotten TV sitcom star, an aging underwear model, and a hatemonger of a former politician who hasn't held office in a decade, the first night of the DNC featured performances and speeches from successful pop stars, firebrand statements from forward-thinking comedians, and Michelle Obama. This election might be the literal manifestation of the tagline for Alien Vs. Predator, but when it comes to reputable guest appearances, it's not hard to see who has the advantage.

Reputation alone couldn't carry every one of the night's musical performers to victory, though. Boyz II Men's convention-opening performance of "Motownphilly" was plenty competent and a decent hat-tip to the DNC's Philadelphia staging ground, but the transition from Demi Lovato's touching speech on mental health awareness to her performance of the title track on last year's Confident was a reminder that your typical political convention—even in an atypical election year such as this—doesn't have the polish and finesse of, say, the Grammys.

But it was Paul Simon's performance of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" that garnered the most musical social media chatter. Simon's on a bit of a career bump right now—his latest solo album, this year's Stranger to Stranger, has been a solid critical success—but his vocal delivery at the DNC was a bit rough. The Democrats didn't seem to mind, though, swaying and singing along in a fashion that is likely the closest you'll ever come to seeing a bunch of delegates milly rocking on their block.

The night's comedic speakers were definitely more successful. Minnesota Senator Al Franken went back to his Saturday Night Live days with a speech loaded with jabs at Trump and the RNC that landed somewhere between Jon Stewart-monologue-filler and the type of jokes you'll hear your father make around Thanksgiving. Corny and obvious, sure, but when the entire country feels like it's going down the toilet, corny and obvious will do.

For her part, Sarah Silverman kicked off her speech by telling Franken to "get out of up every morning in a house built by slaves," potently employing that fact to highlight what she believes the US is capable of: "Don't let anyone ever tell you that this country isn't great, that somehow we need to make it again. Because this right now is the greatest country on earth."

It's a sentiment that even Susan Sarandon could agree on—even if she wasn't exactly having the best time. Sorry, Susan.

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