Friday, October 26, 2018

These Skeletons Are the Single Greatest Halloween Decorations Ever

Halloween is almost here, and with it comes a sea of yards full of terrible decorations. There are the dumb cardboard tombstones, the fake cobwebs, and the battery-powered zombie heads that let out a terrifying scream whenever you pass in front of the sensor or whatever. But every now and then, someone comes along who pushes the boundaries of what Halloween decorations can be.

This year, that someone is actually two someones, Bill and Bob, whose yard full of skeletons is so brain-bleedingly brilliant that it rattles the very foundation of the decorative yard art form. And thanks to Twitter user Sami Campagnano, who lives nearby Bill and Bob's house, the entire world can bask in the glory of the duo's genius.

What, you don't get it? You don't immediately pick up on Bill and Bob's brilliance? That's just a skeleton planting some flowers and having a picnic, you think. The fashion police one is kind of funny, I guess, but what's the big idea?

Let's not fault you for your ignorance just yet. Sure, the decorations are deceptively simple. Sure, they're just a trio of skeletons and a few props, situated in various scenarios on an otherwise normal lawn. But they're so much more. According to Campagnano, Bill and Bob diligently change up the skeletons each day, putting them in new and different situations. On their own, the decorations aren't much to look at. But viewed as a whole, on a larger scale, their great majesty truly comes into focus.

Behold:

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Skeletons getting their cat off the roof. Photo courtesy of Sami Campagnano.

Don't you see? Don't you get it? It is the mundanity of their actions that make Bill and Bob's skeletons so truly exceptional. These skeletons breakdance, they party, they camp out, they clean. They soak up the sun and picnic and even put up decorations in a truly meta turn. Their skeletal lives mirror our own, like a spooky version of that George Saunders story "Sticks."

The message of the skeletons, it seems, is one of unity. We are all the same, the decorations declare. We are all a mess of bones underneath all these layers of muscle and fat and hair and lame scumbro outfits. We all spend our days working in the garden or taking out the trash or teaching our skeleton children to ride a bike, barely pausing to notice how these tiny moments add up to a life.

These skeletons are us. We are them. Their story is our story, a story of the mundane beauty of everyday life. We are all the same when you strip us down to our thin calcium frames. Thank you, Bill and Bob, you Halloween legends, for the reminder.

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