VICE Shorts: This Short Film About Teeth Is Scarier Than the Dentist

Screenshot from Daniel Gray and Tom Brown's short film, 'teeth'

As I sat in agony at the dentist's office last week getting my teeth cleaned, my dentist explained how dental care had come a long way. Toothpastes, mouthwash, and floss have improved the strength of our enamel so much that our teeth degrade at a much slower rate. How could there be real technical improvements like bionic eyes and robotic arms that send email, but no cure for tooth decay, gum rot, or a better smile (without wearing years of hardware)? I'm reminded of a bad dental joke that clearly illustrates why teeth are annoying, "You don't have to brush all of your teeth, just the ones you want to keep."

Like me, filmmakers Daniel Gray and Tom Brown also have a love/hate relationship with teeth—so much so that they made a goddamn haunting and beautifully animated film about it named "teeth." However, their protagonist—and also somewhat surreptitiously the antagonist—must not have gotten my dentist's memo because he makes it his life goal to craft the perfect set. From toddler to geezer, Gray and Brown literally place us inside a mouth punished with caramel apples, fistfights, and painful dental visits.

In "teeth," Gray and Brown create a visceral world soaked in gloom and menace—an ideal atmosphere for a creepy old man to try some mad-scientist shit in order to improve on what God still clearly hasn't perfected. But we should know that when you try to play God, things rarely go right, and with their award-winning film, the filmmakers prove that there's value in taking care of what you have. The short is scarier than the dentist and is probably the reason I'll go back again in six months. So if you're fed up with caring for your calcium-rich chiclets, give this film a shot and see if you won't cringe a little less at your next appointment. Remember: "Be true to your teeth, and they won't be false to you."

Jeffrey Bowers is a tall mustached guy from Ohio who's seen too many weird movies. He currently lives in Brooklyn, working as a film curator. He's the senior curator for Vimeo's On Demand platform. He has also programmed at Tribeca Film Festival, Rooftop Films, and the Hamptons International Film Festival.

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