All screenshots via Youtube
We live in divided times. Some of us watch Fox News while slowly eating a vat of fried meat; others snapchat about microdosing while riding hoverboards that don't actually hover. Some people say money is good, other people say money is fine but they don't have enough of it. Some people think a very angry man should rule the world, other people say that he is the wrong kind of angry. A third kind of person says that anger is the wrong thing entirely. What are you to think, an ordinary user scrolling through your various feeds, just trying to figure out whether kale or coffee or vaccines are actually good or actually very bad?
I can't help you with any of that; I still have to google every time I want to find out how many ounces are in a cup. But I can tell you that this video of a man who is so excited about hating Donald Trump he calls a woman a fat bitch and then tries to do a backflip, failing miserably and smashing his face into the pavement, is the sort of thing that could unite America:
This video comes from a thing called Rebel Pundit, a site that puts up clips of left-wing protesters that make them look dumb. But forget the source for a second, and forget your feelings about Trump: This man delivers the performance of a lifetime, going from brave truth-teller to a garden-variety asshole to a humbled and humiliated failure in the span of about ten seconds.
I don't know who he is. He looks, talks, and acts like Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and he appears to have the sort of political opinions that conservatives think liberals have. He's not advocating against any particular Trump policy, or even pushing his own pet issue like immigration or climate change. No, he's out there in his bandana, colored sunglasses, and purple shirt like an American Hustle cosplayer just to piss people off and yell.
The video omits the beginning of what seems to be a pretty heated argument between him and a mostly-off-camera woman, so we don't know what match sparked this particularly douchey brushfire, but we can imagine, because we know what happens at Trump events, how people who hate each other jostle and bark until the odds of something bad happening become very, very good. Presumably he was yelling "Fuck Trump!" or another pithy line, someone else took exception, and now here we are, with him delivering a Trumpite march and going "Yeah yeah yeah!"
Now, the video is only 41 seconds long, but that doesn't mean it lacks twists and turns. Maybe you are on this guy's side, shirt and all, when he is jeering at the Trump people. Then the woman asks him, "What are you smoking?" and he replies, "I'm smoking pot, that's what I'm smoking, lady! Smoking the greens, smoking the herb!"—and maybe you're like, Ha ha, yeah, pot. I like pot, this is fun. But then things take a turn when he continues: "Is that what you think, I'm on drugs because I hate this fascist prick? Fuck you, you fat bitch!"
Suddenly, our Mac-esque protagonist has revealed himself as a villain, not just a spastic anti-Trump dude but an outright jerk. Here's a refresher of the rules: You don't need to show up to a Trump rally to make your views known, but if you do, you should try not to incite altercations with individual Trump fans. If you must get sucked into a debate, you should not go ad hominem, but if it happens in the heat of the moment, please, please do not start throwing around phrases like "fat bitch." It only hurts the other anti-Trump people there who do not need your "help."
Now comes Act III of our drama: Revealed as a cad, the angry young man starts literally jumping around, yelling "It's a fucking circus!" then decides to try to do a backflip. I've always assumed that everyone knows whether or not they can do backflips, that it is a deeply ingrained part of your identity, that there are a couple of neurons that are always shooting signals back and forth that translate to I can do a backflip or I can't do a backflip to remind you of your status, backflip-wise. But this guy lacks these crucial cells, or maybe they were off-duty, because not for a second does it look like he is going to be able to land this sucker:
He must have realized that he was failing while in mid-air. He must have thought Oh shit I am about to fall on my face in front of half a dozen photographers plus this woman, my most hated rival. How am I going to salvage this? His solution—and this is, by far, the best bit of the video—is to spring up immediately from the ground and yell, "I did that on purpose! It's all a fucking joke!"
I don't like Trump. I worry, actually, that things will break exactly right—or wrong—and he'll be sitting in the White House someday making decisions far more serious than what sort of marble should go in a hotel lobby. But regardless of my views, or yours, I think we can all agree that watching a jackass call a woman a "fat bitch" then eating it, totally of his own volition, so badly that he has to yell "I did that on purpose!" and then immediately speedwalk away from the whole situation—well, I think all Americans everywhere can enjoy that, the way we can all enjoy a warm fire at the end of a long day or TV shows about desperate people trapped on an island. This man, whoever he is, has given us a gift, and we should all be grateful to him, whoever he is, wherever he got that shirt. Godspeed.
Follow Harry on Twitter.
from VICE http://ift.tt/1SFTAk9
via cheap web hosting
No comments:
Post a Comment