Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The VICE Guide to the 2016 Election: I Watched the Vice-Presidential Debate So You Didn't Have To

The two potential VPs square off on Tuesday night. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

For fans of TV shows where two older gentlemen interrupt each other and compete to condescend to one another, Tuesday night's vice-presidential debate was a dream come true. For the rest of us—at least those who didn't switch over to a thrilling American League Wild Card game that went into extra innings—the silver lining in the contest between Democrat Time Kaine and Republican Mike Pence is that at least we won't have to suffer through another one of these.

Throughout the 90-minute debate, moderated by CBS's Elaine Quijano, the two career politicians talked over each other and Quijano, and repeatedly went off on tangents that had little or nothing to do with her questions. Kaine's strategy was to bring up Donald Trump at every turn and to attack the GOP candidate whenever possible, at one point turning a discussion about Syria somehow to Trump's refusal to release his tax returns.

For his part, Pence played the role of a Midwestern Roger Sterling, dripping with confidence and self-superiority. While Kaine talked he shook his head the way you would at a child, and when the Democrat brought up especially damaging statements made by Trump, Pence shrugged him off, denying that his running mate had ever called for other countries to acquire nukes, praised Russian President Vladimir Putin's leadership, said women who had abortions should be punished, or floated the idea of banning all Muslims from immigrating to the US.

The closest Pence came to actually defending these outlandish positions was when he admitted, "look, he's not a polished politician like you and Hillary Clinton... You know, things don't always come out exactly the way he means them." This was a polite way of referring to Trump's habit of talking out of his ass on topics he apparently knows nothing about—most of the GOP candidate's statements in interviews are off-the-cuff remarks that don't reflect actual policy endorsements. Unfortunately, all that ass-talking is recorded for posterity, which allowed the Clinton team to quickly cut a video highlighting the absurdity of Pence's constant denials of stuff Trump has said:

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