Saturday, July 1, 2017

'He Was More into Starcraft Than My Vagina'

As copy editor of VICE.com, it's my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and "fuccboi" is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they're good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of June 26. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.

- We do not even know what is in the minds of our lovers when they are lying next to us in the dark.

- To put it bluntly, he fingers my asshole until I cum.

- He was more into Starcraft than my vagina.

- Instead let's stand back and appreciate it as you would a Picasso or a car crash.

- I think alcohol has a big influence on one's behavior and reactions to things that happen to us.

- And then the hobo ghosts come out, and we fly screaming into the heart of a mushroom cloud.

- If he can make himself peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches before every game, I can cook actual meals for myself with some frequency.

- But until that day comes we will continue to be ruled by upright apes who, inevitably, will fuck things up.

- A woman recently got her head stuck in a train, and people just kept walking past her.

- I wonder if there's an English subtitle somewhere that's been mistranslated for the Korean audience.

- Could Stephen King write a scarier version of this and put it on the Senate floor?

- And if this hot take on a 20-year-old action movie somehow hasn't forced you to reevaluate your entire stance on America's approach to refugees and immigrants, that's fine too.

Follow Alex Norcia on Twitter.



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