Crossdressing on Halloween Was the Queer Liberation I Didn’t Know I Needed

This year I dressed up as Lenny Kravitz for Halloween on a whim. I hadn’t crossdressed as a male celebrity since childhood, but I didn’t think much of it, at least initially. My friend and I wrestled my afro into a mohawk, and I threw on a heavy leather jacket over an all-black outfit with lace-up heels, some jewelry, and a single small hoop earring. It was hardly a “costume” in the official sense, but with my hair in a bold new style evoking a certain masculinity, I found myself admiring my reflection and the chiseled squareness of my jawline, enjoying the way my hair was hanging down in front of my face. The one earring was giving me 90s Larenz Tate in Love Jones vibes, and I continued wearing it for the rest of the week.

I became profoundly aware that I wasn’t dressing as Kravitz in a silly way, but to feel unironically attractive and celebrated for leaning into a masculine appearance. It was an outfit I could theoretically wear any old day, but when my friend asked if I’d start styling my hair that way more often, I struggled to think of a casual, non-queer occasion where I’d be comfortable sporting the look, even though it was clearly making me feel amazing.

Unbeknownst to me, I’d taken part in a century-old tradition of queer Americans using Halloween as a chance to explore sides of themselves they were forced to repress the rest of the year. In the mid-19th century, more than 40 US cities criminalized crossdressing, and men in New York could technically be arrested for "impersonating a female" until 2011. In the 1970s, Halloween was dubbed “the gay Christmas” as it became an opportunity for underground drag, cabaret, and ballroom communities to step into the mainstream one night a year, on the street or in parades. Halloween traditions today, like the drag queen high heel race in Washington, DC, are offshoots of this legacy. But many retellings of Halloween’s queer history are dominated by gay male narratives, so I'd never considered what crossdressing could mean to a cis queer black girl like me.

Thinking back, my costumes always represented a certain tension between not feeling naturally comfortable in hyper-feminine clothes and the wish to still feel desired by men. As a kid, before I had crushes on anyone, I let my tomboy spirit dictate my Halloween costumes. I could be a ninja, or Jimi Hendrix, or (just go with it) a witch who wears pants. But in high school, when I was barely out of the closet and ensconced in a white heterosexual party scene, my costumes involved straightening my hair, wearing makeup (which I never wore normally), and throwing on a variation of a crop top and bottoms—once I went as a soccer player, another time I was a member of Salt n Pepa. In college, when I was openly queer but uncomfortable presenting too masculine, I settled on middle-ground options like Erykah Badu and Aaliyah. And even this year, when I opted to go as Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to a super heterosexual party, I had to fight off lingering worries that maybe I should’ve worn something “more flattering.”

Looking back, the pressure to appear feminine in high school and college largely came from the anxiety that perhaps I was queer because I hadn’t made myself attractive enough to men out there I could actually connect with. Childhood memories of combing through cabinets full of hair products with concerned older women, or being constantly reminded to fix my posture, made it seem like I had a lot to change if I wanted to appeal to the opposite sex. It seemed like coming out and then dressing more masculine on top of everything would doom any chance I had left of experiencing heterosexual love.

Simultaneously, I felt a competing pressure observing styles in the queer womxn community to dress more masculine to attract girls or present more queer to make flirting easier. I spent college constantly oscillating between versions of myself depending on what crowd I’d be seeing that night. As you can probably imagine, it was exhausting. Over time, I learned to strike a balance between styles, making the whiplash less extreme. But in retrospect, the Halloween costumes I chose in each era of adolescence pretty accurately reflect the stage of the journey I was on.

This year, I started paying closer attention to the costumes people choose and the temporary transformations they enable. I noticed other queer people using Halloween as an opportunity to test out more binary-pushing looks. At one house party, the belle of the ball was a gay man dressed as a devil in a tight red bodysuit, but he’d added butt padding that gave the costume an exaggerated, feminine twist. The booty-centric outfit wasn’t for laughs though—he isn’t a class clown type. He looked elegant and poised and frankly mesmerizing.

I asked around, and it turns out my friends had their own stories about what crossdressing on Halloween has meant for their gender expression and sexuality. Al Nadeau, who is non-binary but spent the majority of their life as a woman, dressed up as a drag queen one Halloween after transitioning and found it was a fun and liberating way to engage with their former gender. Another friend, who wanted to stay anonymous, shared that when she was 19 and first becoming aware of her queerness, she dressed up as a male tourist for a quick, silly costume but started calling herself a “lesbian birdwatcher” halfway through the night, even though she hadn’t personally identified as a lesbian yet. In some ways, Halloween can air our subconscious desires, foreshadowing identity changes before we’re fully ready to acknowledge them ourselves. It’s also a reminder that humans in general contain multitudes, and that goes for cis and non-cis people alike.

My newfound appreciation for the exploratory aspects of Halloween also raises an interesting question: Why not dress more masculine in real life? Who’s stopping me from wearing my afro mohawk to work? It’s hard to tell whether my day-to-day style is purely mine, or if I’m conforming to some blend of my own beauty standards and those of society, opting for the most comfortable (and perhaps most privileged) option.

But there’s a clear trajectory from where I started and where I’ve ended up. Halloween, like queer spaces, is a crucial part of chipping away at decades of miseducation, turning loaded decisions about what to wear into the fun, sensual, hilarious, affirming experiences they should be. Perhaps the holiday’s greatest trick and treat is convincing people in our homophobic society to queer themselves for a day, which is truly something to celebrate.

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'Spirited Away' Is the Best Halloween Movie

Halloween is hands-down the best holiday—the festive ghosts, clever costumes, and Hurley from Lost’s annual Hawai’ian haunted house pretty much solidify that. Even so, there's a lot of awful shit that can go wrong if you venture outside to participate in the spooky revelry. Your safest bet, by far, is to hunker down with some of the movies that make this unholy time of year so wonderful. There are tons of fantastic Halloween movies out there: Halloween, Halloweentown, and Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge, just to name a few. But the best of the bunch, though it may not be considered a "traditional" scary movie, is Hayao Miyazaki’s Academy Award-winning ghost story, Spirited Away.

The anime centers on a Japanese tween named Chihiro and her parents, who are moving to a new house but wind up trapped in the spirit world along the way. It’s an objectively great film that grossed $289 million at the box office, won Best Animated Feature at the Oscars in 2003, and racked up myriad other acknowledgments. Audiences and critics alike praise it as a visual masterpiece and sterling example of character development. The artistry behind Spirited Away set a new benchmark for animation, a medium Miyazaki once said, “soothes the spirit of those who are disheartened and exhausted from dealing with the sharp edges of reality.” Channel Criswell expands on that idea in the video below.

Spirited Away hits all the right notes for a spooky evening in. Chihiro and her parents stumble into the spirit world, mistaking it for an abandoned theme park. They immediately discover a gourmet spread of peking duck, dumplings, and fried rice. The seemingly up-for-grabs treat looks achingly delicious, but in true Halloween fashion, it's actually a trick. As the sun sets, Chihiro's parents transform into pigs, leaving their daughter scared and alone. In her book, Miyazakiworld, Susan Napier describes the destruction of Chihiro's known world as an “intimate apocalypse,” which is a terrifying concept.

Chihiro is ultimately helped by a magic boy with blue hair named Haku who can turn into a dragon at-will (a pretty dope Halloween costume). She also teams up with a gruff boiler worker named Kamaji and a no-nonsense woman named Lin, blending into the spirit world by taking a job at a bathhouse for deities, ghosts, and other magical creatures. A fierce witch named Yubaba hires Chihiro in exchange for her name (creepy), and for much of the film, our protagonist goes by the name "Sen."

Villains are important to a good Halloween movie, but no one in Spirited Away is truly evil like Michael Myers in Halloween or Kalabar in Halloweentown. Yubaba is mostly evil in the way all bosses are kind of evil, but she shows her tender side through her love for her son—a massive, aggressive, candy-scarfing baby. The only other character with villainous potential is a see-through spirit called No Face, who eventually transforms into a gluttonous beast, rampaging through the bath house and gobbling up employees. Though he's not truly evil, he is pretty scary.

Spirited Away captures the fear and excitement of being young and in an unfamiliar place where anything can happen. When you're a kid, the magic of Halloween manifests in exploring your neighborhood after dark, when cookie-cutter houses transform into haunted mansions. Halloween is a coming-of-age holiday, and Spirited Away is one of the best coming-of-age stories ever told.

So if you're going to stay in on Halloween, you need a movie that's genuinely more exciting than dogs in adorable costumes. With its spine-chilling villains, supernatural vibe, and plenty of tricks and treats, Spirited Away is the perfect ghostly flick.

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These Candidates Want to Eliminate Your Student Loan Debt

Natalia Abrams graduated from UCLA in 2009, near the height of the Great Recession. That year, her state's public university system moved to raise tuition by about 30 percent, and she was shocked to see friends begin dropping out in the second semester of their senior years. The 20-something got involved with protests over the hike, which set her on the path to becoming executive director of Student Debt Crisis (SDC), where she's been advocating for an overhaul of America's deeply fucked student-loan system for the past six years.

If recent poll numbers from Harvard are accurate, young Americans are set to turn out for the 2018 midterms in record numbers. A survey of about 2,000 people between 18 and 29 conducted by the university’s Institute of Politics (IOP), found that 40 percent definitely planned to vote. Obviously saying "yes" on a survey takes less effort than waiting in a line on election day or wrangling with the US Post Office (which as a recent piece by New York Magazine illustrated, young people seem to have a ton of trouble with). But still, those numbers are high. If even 22 percent of eligible voters in that age cohort bothered to cast a ballot, it would be the highest turnout in more than three decades.

In an interview, Abrams argued that today's young people are going through a similar realization to the one she had a decade ago—that the higher education system is rigged against them. In fact, she said that higher education was among the biggest issues for millennial voters like her—and that we're at a unique point in history, with 10 percent of members of Congress actually grappling with debt of their own.

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"I remember five or six years ago when this started to become a much bigger issue, we would hear things like, 'I got a part-time job job to pay for college,''" she told me. "That's no longer the case."

It may not shock you to learn that Donald Trump is not part of the solution here. On the campaign trail, he gave lip service to the idea of simplifying the byzantine world of student loan debt repayment plans, but when it came time to make actual budget proposals in May 2017, it became clear the president's plan was akin to "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic before it sinks," as one expert told me at the time. And in September, it was revealed that of the almost 30,000 people who applied to have their debt wiped after making on-time payments for a decade and devoting their early careers to helping others, only 96 people had received what was promised under President George W. Bush. That's not a typo—the program worked for less than 1 percent of those relying on it.

But as Abrams's activism shows, young people and recent college grads don't have to sit on their hands. In fact, according to money lender Laurel Road—which had market research firm Centiment poll 1,000 millennials who just graduated from or were currently enrolled in college—83 percent said the cost of college or the issue of student loan debt would influence how they voted in November.

Women are likely to be on the forefront of this, as a record-breaking number of them are running for office, and they also bear nearly two-thirds of the $1.5 trillion in outstanding student loan debt. The gender component of this generational disaster has been visible on the campaign trail. For instance, there's Stacey Abrams, who's running for governor of Georgia and has been vocal about the fact that student loan-debt does not equally affect everyone. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a progressive candidate running for congresswoman in the Bronx who also has outstanding loans, supports free college and cancelling student debt.

There are also a lot of public officials running for office or re-election with a track record of taking on some of the issue's biggest villains. Take California attorney general Xavier Becerra, who's suing servicer Navient for allegedly systematically providing borrowers with incorrect information, or for keeping them in the dark entirely about what how to get above water. Or Richard Cordray, who served as the first director of the since-gutted Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) and did a lot of work on behalf of borrowers; he's now running in a tight race for governor of Ohio.

Then there's Eric Swalwell, the California congressman who proposed legislation last year that would dish out loan forgiveness to public servants in two-year increments. Although that bill never made it out of committee, its very existence suggested there were pols out there looking for creative suggestions to a looming catastrophe. Finally, Jared Polis, the Democratic congressman running for governor in Colorado, has introduced a bill to wipe out all student debt in the country, period.

Meanwhile, it's hard to imagine young voters being anything but repelled by attack ads like those run by Devin Nunez that claimed his Democratic opponent for a California house seat, the prosecutor Andrew Janz, was fiscally irresponsible and basically a loser because he racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars in student-loan debt. In fact, Democrat Abby Finkenaur, who's running to unseat a 63-year-old millionaire in Iowa, has cited her working-class background and student loan debt as among her qualifications for the gig.

For her part, Abrams—the activist, not the candidate—wanted young voters to realize there were in fact people on the ballot who had their backs. It wasn't clear if that message was getting through: More than 55 percent of millennials surveyed on behalf of Laurel Road were unaware of their state and local candidates' stances on the issue, and other polls have suggested millennials cared more about social issues than education. And with Trump riling up right-wing rage at immigrants in the final stretch of the campaign, Abrams was left to hope young people didn't lose focus on the debt problem given all the violence and hate in the news.

After all, student-loan debt isn't just a financial thing.

"For some borrowers, this has become a life or death issue," she told me. "We have an increase in suicide talk. It's very hard for people when they feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel."

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

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Wild Video Shows a Fight Club for Toddlers at a Daycare Center

The Adventure Learning Center, a preschool and daycare in St. Louis, brands itself as a place where "every child has the right to a safe, nurturing environment where they feel secure and comfortable." But according to local Fox affiliate KTVI, that whole "safe" and "secure" thing went right out the window when two teachers turned their classroom into a fight club, pitting kids against each other in a series of head-to-head boxing matches.

This all went down back in 2016, when a video recording revealed a foam mat on a classroom floor, with kids forming a circle around it and squaring up in the center, two at a time. Combatants wore oversized foam Hulk gloves and started wailing on each other while the teachers cheered them on from the sidelines—an episode caught on camera by one of the student's older brothers, who happened to be in a classroom next door at the time.

In since-released footage, you can see one of the teachers jump up and down, like some kind of weird, fucked-up corner man at an MMA match, while the other sets up two tiny fighters with a glove apiece. Then one of the students starts pummeling his classmate, continuing to punch him in the head even after he's hit the ground. According to KTVI, that was just one of several brawls: Cameras at the daycare captured more than 30 minutes worth of fights, which eventually came to an end after the kid who recorded one texted footage to his mom, Nicole Merseal.

"When I got the video, I was just in complete shock," she told ABC News. "I immediately left work. I also called the day care immediately and told them to go stop the fighting."

The center's director broke up the fighting and fired the two wannabe Tyler Durdens who had put it together. But Merseal said that didn't make up for the fact that her four-year-old son had gotten "beaten up by his best friends" at school, an incident that left him in tears. She soon filed suit against the place for $25,000 in damages, according to ABC News.

Merseal wound up enrolling her kid in a new daycare, which, you know, seems like the right move. The cops never pressed charges against the two teachers behind the fight club, and the Adventure Learning Center was said to remain up and running after being forced by local authorities to clean up its act last year. (The fired teachers and current administrators at the facility declined to comment to KTVI.)

“I want them to be held accountable," Merseal said. "And I don't want this to happen to any other child."

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We Asked an Expert How Long You Can Safely Hold in a Fart

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

All of us, except that weird and rare subset of humanity who love to rip them publicly, has held in a fart for an uncomfortable amount of time—hell, some of you are probably holding one in right now.

Whether it be because you’re on a date, you’re in front of “polite” company, running some errands, at the gym, or you’re at work and don’t want to get up before you file a story, we’ve all felt that bloating, sometimes painful, discomfort. The feeling sucks, it’s embarrassing, and it will last until you uh… take care of it. But is it unhealthy?

Well, most of us don’t really know.

This is something Clare Collins, a professor of nutrition and dietetics in the School of Health Sciences at the University of Newcastle, Australia wondered as well. Collins told VICE that she first looked into the effects of holding in your butt breath after she was doing a radio interview and a caller asked her about it. She researched the answer and said she found it so interesting she “thought the world need to share this.” This urge to share her colon knowledge resulted in an article with The Conversation called, Health Check: what happens when you hold in a fart.

In the article, Collins explores everything you could want to know about the phenomenon that turns your bum into a trumpet. How much is normal: median total volume of 705ml of gas in 24 hours. Do you fart more on planes because of expanding gas: yes. Does a high fiber diet lead to more farts: no, but the “high psyllium-fiber diet led to longer initial retention of gas, but the volume stayed the same, meaning fewer but bigger farts.”

We here at VICE decided we would get in touch with Collins and learn all we can about farts so we can pass it on to you, our fair reader because we care about your sphincter health. Here’s what we learned.

VICE: What is the biggest misconception people have when it comes to holding in gas?
Clare Collins: That you can hold it in 100 percent (and also that no-one else except them ever has to pass wind.)

What advice would you have for someone on a big date who can't fart?
Do not eat in the one to two hours before the date (you are more likely to pass wind about one hours(ish) after eating. Do not walk to the date, as that also increased the movement of intestinal gas.

Is there a time limit for how long you can hold it?
Unsure. I think there are a lot of variables in that, Eg: how much gas, how strong your anal sphincter and buttock muscles are.

Can there ever be any harmful effects to the body when you hold it in?
This is where the research was unclear as to whether it did contribute to diverticulitis or it does not matter. But because some of the gasses are reabsorbed and then exhaled in your breath—I would not suggest you make it an 'art form' or you may just have really bad breath.

You mentioned diverticulitis, what is that?
This is small pockets or pouches that develop in the gut wall when it is under pressure. These can become inflamed or infected.

You just said that the gas reabsorbed back into the system and you can essentially breathe it out the, uh, fart. How does that work?
The gas crossed the bowel wall into the blood vessel and as the blood travels back to the lungs to drop off carbon dioxide and get some more oxygen, it drops off those gasses it collected from your colon and you breathe them out.

Would it smell like a typical fart when it comes out the other direction?
Certainly would.

Do you think this is an important thing to study?
I think it is helpful to study some of these basic things. The research has helped identify how much gas is normal and the role of these gasses in health and diseases.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. You can read Collins' full article on farting here.

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Behind the Scenes of 'She's Running'

With more women than ever before in US history running in this year's midterm elections, VICE News decided to take a deeper look into a handful of their campaigns in a new series called "She's Running."

The series follows four women as they each mount historic bids for public office. Democratic candidate Deidre DeJear would become the first African-American elected to state office in Iowa, if her bid for secretary of state is successful. Republican Pearl Kim, who's running for a House seat in Pennsylvania's 5th district, would become the first woman of color elected to Congress in the state. Democrat Anna Eskamani, a former Planned Parenthood employee, could become the first Iranian-American in the Florida State House. Lastly, there's Republican Morgan Zegers, a 21-year-old running to become the New York State Assembly's youngest member.

Broadly writer Marie Solis sat down with the producers of the "She's Running," Emma Fidel and Daniel Ming, to hear more about the series.

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Please Enjoy These Fantastically Brutal Illustrations by a Death Metal Icon

When death metal bands need art that lives up to their brutal sound, they call Mark Riddick. Outfits like Arch Enemy, Dying Fetus, Morbid Angel, The Black Dahlia Murder, and other bands whose sound Andrew W.K. compared to having an orgasm for the first time regularly enlist the prolific 42-year-old Virginian for posters, album art, and merch. He’s been in the underground metal zine scene since he was 15, honing an instantly recognizable aesthetic.

He told VICE in an email that he views his work as having a unique visual language consisting of “oozing rot, dripping cobwebs, worms and maggots, extreme detail, and a strict adherence to black and white pen and ink work.” He counts as his inspiration both active artists and metal art legends, including Chris Moyen, Brad Moore, Sean Carr, Vincent Locke, Dan Seagrave, Alfonso Ruiz, Daniel Corcuera, Matt Carr, Daniel Shaw, and Mark Richards. Despite the mind-bending perspectives and imaginative scenarios he creates, Riddick says he doesn't use any mind-altering substances to come up with ideas.

The process of drawing such utterly creepy images is actually meditative. “It’s a way for me to decompress,” he said. “When I put the pen to the paper, everything around me is pushed into the background and becomes white noise, the focus is solely on where my next pen stroke will occur and what kind of decisions or creative steps must be taken to complete an illustration.” Riddick estimates that, in developing his look, he’s drawn well over 1,000 skulls over the years.

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Canadian Bush Workers Deal with Sexual Harassment in the Middle of Nowhere

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

As a professional wild food forager, I have, on more than one occasion, sung Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz” to a grizzly bear so he would know where I was while I made a hasty-but-calm-oh-God-please-don’t-eat me escape. I once accidentally hit a grouse with my pickup truck on my way back to camp from a town run and turned it into the most fabulous wild morel and grouse risotto. I have even (quite accidentally) taken a piss on a porcupine in the dark.

(Dear porcupine, if you’re reading this, I continue to be eternally sorry for that error, please forgive me).

I’m just saying, without trying to brag, my choice of profession has afforded me a general level of badassery, adventure, and horrific mosquito bites most people don’t experience in their day-to-day lives.

It also lets me see a dark side of humanity that most people would probably rather do without.

As a tree planter or mushroom picker you work in the most isolated place—the bush. It’s often hard to get in and out of, requiring driving long distances on scarcely-used highways or down logging roads, boating up river or flying in. In many places, there is no cell phone service and no access to internet, police, or emergency services except for what is provided by your employer (if you even have an official employer). This is an environment which, while full of amazing people to meet, is often rife with a powerfully engrained, male-dominated long-standing patriarchy. Men often outnumber everyone else by seven, eight, sometimes even ten-to-one. I often refer to it as “man land” because the idea of the big, burly man who only needs a .45, a pack of cigarettes, and a woman to make him pancakes in the morning is not only ubiquitous but idolized.

Some people—mostly men—might disagree with me; that’s just how men and women are, they might say, you have to expect men to look at you and try to fuck you when you’re out there. To be fair, I have met some really awesome men I feel entirely safe within the bush, whether we’re hiking up a mountain or skinny dipping in a hot spring. However, I’ve seen too much shit to take their good behavior for granted.

On my second year in the bush, I saw a man sell his intoxicated wife to another man for a flat of Old Milwaukee beer. I don’t know if she had consented to anything of this nature beforehand, but she was certainly too drunk to consent to anything when she went into the trailer with the man. The man was a friend of mine, a fellow picker who was well-liked by many men of the camp; I saw the woman go in with him, but I didn’t understand at the time what had actually happened. The next day, one of the other men was laughing about it with him, as if this was a totally normal thing; it wasn’t until several weeks later that I actually understood he had fucked that half-conscious woman while her husband sat outside on a stump and pounded back the beers. I was never able to look at him the same after that and I was never able to look at the other men the same either because business just went on as per usual, as if he hadn’t done something disgusting and horrible and wrong.

So trust me—this shit is happening and it’s especially powerful in the bush because it is happening away from the eyes of the rest of the “normal” world.

Below are five tales from fellow picker, planter, and outfitter women about their experiences with misogyny and sexism in the field.

A mushroom picker and her pick. Photo courtesy of the author

Protected Predator

Lindsay Tatteral, 27, tree planter and midwifery student

I’ve been tree planting for seven years, and sexual harassment is definitely a systemic issue. One of the biggest things that came was with a camp I had worked at for four years, since the very beginning of my career. There was a guy there who had a big alcohol problem and was known to be a predator. He was a checker, so he was technically management.

Almost all the women there had a run-in with him. I had an incident with him myself where he inappropriately touched me while he was drunk. I didn’t report it because I was a young planter and he was management. I felt like it was my bad for being too close to him.

One time he showed up drunk at an event and was sent to sleep in a hotel room with a female planter to sleep it off. He slept in her bed and tried to sleep with her; she was really uncomfortable. Afterward, no one seemed to know why he was assigned to a female planter’s room in the first place; she hadn’t given her consent for him to be there.

The foreman of the camp knew—everybody knew. When you’re out there, you’re not just working with people, you’re living with people; he was part of our community, and here we look out for members of our community. We kept wondering how we could deal with him. We tried talking to him about it and he was always remorseful and apologetic about it but he never changed; that’s part of the cycle of an abuser, right? He stopped drinking for a while and it got better, and then he got hurt and was off for a while and started drinking again and went back to doing the same thing. So for the first four years in camp, he was just something you tried to avoid but was normal.

We protect predators a lot in these instances. These are people who are hurting people but can talk about feminist theory.

Eventually, we had a new girl join our crew and he tried something with her—he said something to her, it was really innocent compared to the other things he had done. And she was like “Woah, this is not OK, you don’t get to speak to me that way.” It was like a light switch flicking on—we suddenly realized this was something we shouldn’t be accepting.

We went to the supervisor, who was a really good friend of this guy—he was great, really amazing, he organized a healing circle for the women to talk through their experiences. He also took responsibility for being complicit in it too because he knew, as everyone did, the way his friend and colleague was acting when he was drunk. Still, if he knew, why didn’t he do something about it? That’s the big question, isn’t it? He’s a friend now, but it’s still uncomfortable to talk about it with him.

The guy was fired and he didn’t understand why. He was completely in denial about his behavior. He went to work for another company and people thought he had just quit. They didn’t know he had been fired. It was all informal. I remember being so angry when I found out people thought he had just quit. I made sure people knew he was fired for sexual assault.

That’s 100 percent not an isolated incident. It’s just one story of many.

‘Weird daddy-daughter shit’

Amy Kenny, 37, writer and camp cook

I was working for a season as a camp cook for a fly-in outfitter near Mayo, Yukon. So, so many shitty things happened while I was out there but the shittiest thing that happened was toward the end of the season. Like, if I had written this into a short story, an editor would have looked at it and cut it out and said: "This is just too much."

So, it was—literally—a dark and stormy night; there was this terrible thunderstorm and it was super dark. All the guides and hunters were out at the splinter camps (these are camps away from the main camp where the guides take their clients) and so it was just me, the owner, and the owner’s daughter, who was like 28 or 29. We had been having a really great night—I’d cooked a really nice meal and they were telling me stories and laughing. They had a really weird, tense relationship sometimes, some really weird daddy-daughter shit, which was sometimes uncomfortable because when they fought I often had to be the go-between.

Just as everyone was about to go to bed, the daughter got a call on the satellite phone from one of the guides that a saddle had been forgotten for one of the horses (they ride in to the backcountry to hunt) and the client needed it, so the father was going to have to fly out and deliver it in the morning.

The father totally flips out—in his mind it was his daughter's fault although she really had nothing to do with it, she was just delivering the message—and the next thing I know they’re both just screaming at each other. He dragged her outside the cabin into the pouring rain and thunder; I could hear them fighting with each other. He called her a whore and smacked her right in the face. I didn’t see him hit her but I saw him throw her hard into a wall and she had a hand mark on her face when they came back in.

Over the next few days, they didn’t talk and things were really uncomfortable. She would talk to me about it sometimes; this wasn’t the first time this had happened apparently. She decided she was going to leave, but afterward, she changed her mind and stayed.

Later, the father took me aside and tried to apologize to me for the scene. He said his daughter was really manipulative, that she was unstable and I didn’t know what she was like; he really tried to blame everything on her.

He adamantly denied that he had been abusive to her in any way. I absolutely would not accept that. I said, “We’re the only three people up here—what do you think I’m going to do, just be OK with you beating women? This isn’t alright.” He just kept denying it and denying it until he finally admitted that yes, he had hit his daughter. It was fucked. I mean, I know people who are abusers lie about their abuse, but he did this right in front of me.

A few days later the father and the daughter made up, really suddenly. I know that’s part of it, the cycle of abuse, but it was super disturbing, they were talking cute at each other and acting really close. Suddenly, both of them were against me, not really talking to me. A little while later the father came to me and told me they weren’t going to need me for the rest of the season—it was almost over and it was just a small hunt they said, so they really weren’t going to need a cook. I told him I knew why he was really firing me because I had said what I had about him hitting his daughter. He told me I could think whatever I liked.

‘We always felt we were being looked at, being ranked’

Ren Roberts, 27, tree planter and student of Indigenous community planning

I’ve been a tree planter for seven years, six of which I spent with the same tree planting company. It was supposed to be pretty progressive, and a lot of people told me I was really lucky to be hired there as a rookie planter. Most people have to start out in the rookie factories. One of the things that this company did was try to create a gender-balance on the crews, which you would think would be good, as a woman.

A big problem was that there weren’t many female supervisors, and management really didn’t like it when women stated their opinions. At one point, a manager even called a meeting and got really upset with the crew because one of the female members had said he was “mansplaining” to her and he felt that complaint was inappropriate.

There was definitely a culture of sex at this company. One friend called it “a heteronormative monogamous cesspool.” One of the big things was the “top five.” Everyone was always asking you who your “top five” were—the top five were who you wanted to sleep with the most. We always felt we were being looked at, being ranked. I always felt leered at, like there were predatory eyes on me.

There was a hot tub on site for us to use at the end of the day and while that should have been amazing—you’re hot and dirty and your muscles are tired after a long day of picking—it was really an invitation to bad behavior. One guy was really gross about it, and would say things like how he loved it when women had to get into the hot tub because they had to spread their legs to do it. It was bad enough that some women were advocating not to have the hot tub available every night, because the space didn’t feel safe.

Overall though, tree planting has been incredibly empowering for me. Growing up as a woman in the city, tree planting was the first time I ever felt financially powerful independent of my sexuality. It gives you physical strength, you feel good in your body; just being out in the forest, in the wild, is empowering. I’m at a different company now called Hybrid 17 and they’re awesome. It’s a really inclusive, genderqueer space. It’s all about the culture that’s created in the camp.

‘I feel like I’m hunted’

Mya Halbgebauer, 21, tree planter and arts student

I’ve been a tree planter for three years, working in both British Columbia and Alberta. There’s so many men in power in tree planting camps, it’s really male-dominated and that really changes the way I feel about myself and other women while I’m there. I feel like I have to look out for other women, especially after what happened in my second year.

I got a little too drunk one night at a party on a night off and I got taken advantage of. He took me back to his tent and I definitely didn’t consent to anything that happened that night. Afterward, I had to find my way back to my own tent alone in the dark. My body was violated without my consent and that’s not OK.

I never said anything to him after that—I kind of just avoided him. I had to spend the rest of the next month working with him. It was really uncomfortable. He works somewhere else now but I have seen him briefly, recently. I didn’t report it.

The gender divide is really intense in these camps. Everyone is always asking who’s single, and there’s always fewer women than men. I feel like I’m hunted because I’m female and that feels unsafe.

‘I’ve developed a thick skin’

Alida Thomas, 30, hunting guide and bushworker

I haven’t personally had many problems in the industry, but I’ve developed a thick skin and have worked in the hunting, guide, forestry, geology, mushroom picking, and even pipelining industries since I was 16. I have a pretty quick ‘here are my boundaries’ when I start any new job and that’s that usually. Plus, to be honest, there are a lot of awesome men in these industries who don’t stand for sexism. Or that’s my experience at least.

However, last summer there were two girls who I worked with on a geo crew who definitely had a hell of a time not just with sexism but verbal sexual abuse as well, I would say. I helped one and she navigated it for the season and then quit after because it was that bad and one just left. I understand why, as their bosses were ridiculous and this girl was new in the industry, just out of school. She shouldn't have had to battle that level that fast. I was on a different crew but we worked closely with her. The driller I worked with and I helped straighten out one of the bosses as much as possible, but even then she endured some physical harassment and when she quit at the end of the year they told her you just have to get used to it in this industry, which no, you don’t.

These industries aren’t as bad as when I started though. I would say, based on stories I’ve heard, that sexual harassment has gone up but sexism has gone down for sure. When I started as an assistant guide for horseback hunting they paid me half of what they paid the guys to start. Now, it’s a little smoother for women getting in.

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Hundreds of Asian Women Dressed as Lara Jean from 'TATBILB'

Every Asian woman has faced the same dilemma around Halloween. How are we supposed to dress? While there's tons of options ranging from themed costumes, puns, inanimate objects, and everything in between, dressing up as a TV or film star or character can be incredibly limited. There's minimal representation and earnest attempts at emulating favorite stars can result in being mistaken for an anime character. And many costume sellers are still offering offensive garb that peddle Asian stereotypes.

Luckily, this year's Asian led romcoms have offered Asian women a wider range of costume options for Halloween. These films were successful enough that costumes would be recognizable: Crazy Rich Asians broke the box office, and To All the Boys I've Loved Before was one of the "most viewed original films ever with strong repeat viewing," according to Netflix.

An overwhelming number of women dressed up as TATBILB's introverted Lara Jean Covey for Halloween this year, rocking outfits from nearly every scene in the movie—from her first day of school ensemble to her look from her first party out with Peter Kavinsky. Dozens of women took to Instagram to share their looks and the author of the TATBILB series, Jenny Han, collected some of her favorite looks in a thread on Twitter.

Han is generally quite outspoken about issues of representation on her numerous social media platforms, posting regularly about the limited scope of Asian characters in American films and television. She's no stranger to the annual conundrum of finding a Halloween costume as an Asian American woman. "One Halloween I was Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill," she wrote via email, "Then the next Halloween I was Cho Chang because I already had the components. I dressed up as Cho for several Halloweens because I was sick of people asking me what I was. I also just kept improving the Cho costume every year by adding more Ravenclaw merch."

Han's work made an incredible impact, and she was moved by the outpouring of support. "To see their smiling, proud faces, to see them really owning this character and this moment—it brought tears to my eyes," Han wrote. "I felt such joy. It really feels like being part of something." She says she was especially impressed by the woman who dressed up as "Lara Jean Croft: To All the Tombs I've Raided Before," and that "one mom wrote a note to Lana and [Han] that said how happy she was that her daughter would grow up to see herself as the main character in stories." Lana Condor herself was "so touched by it all," Han added.

I asked a few of the women who dressed up as Lara Jean this Halloween why they chose to this costume, and how it feels to finally be represented:

I pretty much knew as soon as I watched the movie that I was going to be Lara Jean for Halloween! I identified with Lara Jean in so many ways and I think many people see a part of them in her. For me, the small cultural nuances like choosing Facemasks over skiing—I was dying. My husband looked over at me and was like "that's so you." The driving thing is pretty accurate when it comes to me, and those yogurt drinks were a staple in my household growing up. I loved the way this movie represented Korean Americans, like it wasn't in your face forcing Korean culture down your throat. You almost forget the fact that she's Korean and just start loving her for her. Just as a person. That's why I think this movie was so well done, it reached a lot of people not just those of Asian heritage.
- Joyce Kahng

After I saw the movie on Netflix, I knew right away that I wanted to dress up as Lara Jean for Halloween. I didn't even hesitate in making my decision because there are almost no costumes meant for a person of color, let alone someone who is Asian. So many people are dressing up as characters from 'Black Panther,' 'Moana,' and 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' because it feels good to dress up and have your identity be a part of your costume. Jenny Han did an amazing job in creating Asian characters without the cliché roles (a nerd, a hyper-sexualized male fantasy, etc.). She was Asian just for the sake of being Asian. I am adopted, I was raised in the greater Philadelphia area, English is my first language, and I speak with a Philly accent. I really appreciated seeing a character who was Asian American, like me. I am proud of my Asian identity (as seen in my Instagram handle) so it feels really good to be represented.

- Madison Peschen

The main reason I chose to be Lara Jean for Halloween is because she is Asian. The book and movie have a perfect quote for this, that "there are very limited options for Asian girls on Halloween" because of underrepresentation in popular culture and media. Representation matters because you're not just acknowledge someone is different from you, but appreciating it, too. I feel excited and proud to see more people in the spotlight who look like me and that I can relate to.
- Zoe Kamman

When I watched 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' the day it came out, it was a very emotional experience for me to see a love story involving an Asian American girl. I found that I could see myself in her and directly relate to her on many levels, which was a rare experience for me. I read about how Jenny Han had to fight to get an Asian American female lead to play Lara Jean and I'm so glad she did.

The only character I've repeatedly been compared to is Mulan, and while she's awesome, it saddened me that she was the only character people thought of when they looked at me. This year, it was refreshing to have multiple options, from Rachel Chu and Astrid Long from 'Crazy Rich Asians,' to Lara Jean from 'TATBILB.' Ultimately, I chose Lara Jean because I can relate to her on a personal level. Media representation matters. This films sends the message to Asian American girls all over the country that their feelings and stories are important and valued too.

Growing up as a third and fourth-generation Asian American, I never saw myself represented in the media around me. Since 7th grade, I've been signed with a couple talent and modeling agencies and quickly found that the number of jobs for Asian Americans is extremely slim. It's not uncommon to hear things like "we already have an, Asian, we don't need anymore," and I found that I'd often be cast as the token Asian or would only receive audition opportunities for international or non-speaking roles. This frustrated me immensely. In a world where we're constantly inundated with media images, it's indisputable that media shapes what and who we as a society value and care about.
- Elizabeth Jean Li

I chose to dress up as Lara Jean because I really loved her style. I actually bought some of the clothes she wore right after I saw the movie. I also identify with her character because I'm pretty awkward and shy in person. It's wonderful to see Asian Americans as leads in films like 'TATBILB' and 'Crazy Rich Asians.' I wish this representation happened sooner but I'm glad it's happening now and I'm definitely hungry for more.
- Margo

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Watch the First Teasers for the 'What We Do in the Shadows' TV Show

Four long years ago, back before Taika Waititi started making Marvel movies and Jermaine Clement got himself stuck in the astral plane or whatever, the writing and directing duo came together to make one of the greatest vampire movies of all time: What We Do in the Shadows. The mockumentary follows a trio of vampire roommates in New Zealand, who mostly spend their time bickering about dirty dishes, beefing with a gang of werewolf punks, and periodically feasting on the fresh blood of their victims.

On Wednesday, in honor of Halloween, FX released the first clips from its upcoming What We Do in the Shadows spinoff series—and if these two brutally short teasers are to be trusted, it looks like it's going to be just as brilliant as the original.

The new series may have the same name as the movie, but according to a Rotten Tomatoes report from New York Comic Con, it'll tell the story of a different trio of vampire roommates in Staten Island this time around.

"Much like the movie, the series follows three vampires who live together: Laszlo (Matt Berry), Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), and Nandor (Kayvan Novak)—the former two are husband and wife," the report reads. “The main action is put into motion when our central three vampires receive notice that an ancient leader vampire named the Baron is coming to pay them a visit from abroad, purportedly to see how conquering America is going."

The FX series isn't the only What We Do in the Shadows spinoff Waititi and Clement are making. They're reportedly developing a sequel film following the gang of werewolves from the original movie called—naturally—We're Wolves, and a stand-alone series about the inept cops from Shadows is currently airing in New Zealand. Are we witnessing the birth of a What We Do in the Shadows cinematic universe right now? It's a Halloween miracle.

What We Do in the Shadows is set to debut in spring 2019 on FX. Until then, give the teasers a watch above.

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'American History X' Premiered 20 Years Ago, But It's More Relevant Than Ever

Two decades ago, American History X brought to life the ugly realities of white supremacy. Never before had moviegoers seen the horrifying minutiae of Neo-Nazi skinhead culture –– flowing blood and cracking bone, the hypocrisy, the devotion to hate, the difficult journey of leaving hate for good. It was billed as a “message” picture that showed how adherents to this horrifying ideology might leave that life behind. That they might even work toward redemption.

Today, the hate that American History X tried to explore as a cautionary tale of sorts is part of establishment political discourse. The film deeply underestimated the extent to which hate can infect, spread, and achieve widespread influence in American culture. That underestimation reflects our current ignorance of the origins of hate, of how hate can be combated, and suggests that greater awareness might ease its grip on our society.

“I don’t think anyone watching American History X in the nineties thought its white supremacist characters would ever become mainstream,” says Heidi Beirich, director of the Intelligence Project at the Southern Poverty Law Center. “In the nineties, these views were way outside the mainstream. Today, some of them are being echoed from the White House.”

The film depicts a young skinhead (played by Edward Furlong) analyzing and interpreting the events surrounding the incarceration of his older brother for voluntary manslaughter. The latter, however, leaves prison ready to abandon white supremacy for a life free of hate. The result overflows with racist rhetoric that reflects statements made by President Donald Trump himself.

The following, for instance, is from a speech shouted by Derek Vinyard (Edward Norton, in an Academy Award-nominated role) to his Neo-Nazi cohort prior to assaulting the non-white employees of a grocery store: "Our border policy's a joke! So, is anybody surprised that south of the border they're laughing at us? Laughing at our laws?” The idea of foreigners wantonly “laughing” at America’s immigration laws is a metaphor Trump has used for years. On July 30, Trump tweeted: “Illegal immigration is a top National Security problem. After decades of playing games, with the whole World laughing at the stupidity of our immigration laws…” The tweet goes on to suggest that the Democrats are conspiring to undermine America’s immigration system.

The laughter is gone from this discourse as the president, his advisors, and his allies have shifted to more militant language. Referring to the Migrant Caravan traveling north from Central America, Trump tweeted “This is an invasion of our Country and our Military is waiting for you!” Trump has followed-up his venomous bluster against these migrants, in particular, by ordering the Pentagon to send up to 14,000 troops to the US-Mexico border as well as threatening to eliminate birthright citizenship under the 14th Amendment of the Constitution.

In another scene, Danny Vinyard (Furlong) recalls how he idolized his older brother Derek for successfully driving people of color away from public spaces in Venice Beach, saying in voiceover, “For a while, he really made it like it was ours again.” Returning our supposedly broken social systems to some former glory is a core tenet of Trumpism, and the current iteration of America’s conservative movement. Danny’s sentiment, that Venice Beach was ours again, is merely a localized version of Trump’s perennial rallying cry to Make America Great Again.

Folks in the nineties understood American History X as a product of domestic terrorism. The film, in part, captured the public’s fear and fascination with militant white supremacist groups following the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing orchestrated by Timothy McVeigh. The attack killed 168 people, the most destructive terrorist event on American soil until 9/11. Communities across the country feared that theirs would become the next target in an unfolding reign of terror aimed at establishing a white ethnostate.

Derek giving Danny a pep talk. Credit: New Line Cinema

Groups like Life After Hate believe that Sweeney’s approach of outreach, dialogue, and compassion is the surest way to end hateful tendencies. This can become problematic, since the burden of educating and reforming white racists can fall to black and non-black people of color. By this accord, Sweeney encapsulates the trope of the “Magical Negro,” tasked with variously solving the problems of white protagonists and absolving them of their racial biases.

Even so, Meeink believes that openness and the willingness to find common ground offer the best opportunity for changing the minds and hearts of white supremacists.

Meeink says, “When I talk to people about leaving these thoughts behind, we don’t even start out talking about their beliefs. I talk about life. It’s just about looking at your life and wondering if it’s where you’re meant to be.”

Major media outlets have struggled alongside many in the general public with how to talk about white supremacy. The New York Times, for example, received a swarm of critiques for a piece published that many believe pandered in bothsidesism regarding the rhetoric that inspired the MAGAbomber. It seems like every news cycle makes these groups an increasingly prominent part of the national discourse. People want a way to discuss and investigate what that means for the culture at large, but the violence inherent to white supremacy nullifies our capacity for focusing on anything outside its bountiful brutality.

Twenty years since it’s release, American History X could be a way for our culture to interact with this pervasive and complex issue. Through it, we can better understand both the need to hold white supremacists accountable for their actions, as Sweeney does for Derek, and invite them to embrace a life of love, as Derek does for Danny. It represents one of our few cultural touchstones documenting white supremacy. Its viewers can better understand just how deeply-rooted this problem is, and why it cannot be allowed to grow unabated.

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*Gavin McInnes was a co-founder of Vice Media. He left the company in 2008 and has had no involvement since then. He founded The Proud Boys organization in 2016.

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'A Scary Story,' Today's Comic by Stephen Maurice Graham

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Uniformed Young People Should Still Vote

On Tuesday, New York magazine published a fascinating, infuriating series of interviews with young Americans who were "probably" not going to vote in the November 6 midterm elections. It was fascinating because non-voters are rarely given a voice in debates over politics and policy, and infuriating because Democrats need young people to vote in order to win elections, and even though nearly all of the interviewees appeared to lean left and were interested in politics—and in several cases had voted before—they'd managed to convince themselves it might not be worthwhile.

Read our guide to voting for the first time as a college student.

Some of them complained about the hassle of registering and casting a ballot, underscoring that states need to make it easier for people to vote. Others cited a lack of enthusiasm about Democratic candidates in particular (you get the sense that they'd never even consider voting Republican). But the most striking answers were from young people who felt like they weren't adequately informed.

Samantha, a 22-year-old from New Jersey, didn't think it was hard to vote and clearly favored Democrats. But she also told New York, "I’d rather have an informed nonvoter than an uninformed voter going in and making a choice they don’t understand." Reese, a 23-year-old political science student, had never voted and seemed unsure of his views: "I just didn’t know what to do," he said of the 2016 presidential contest. "I didn’t want to help something that might end up being wrong." Lauren, a 21-year-old Floridian, was vaguely planning on voting in 2020: "I have a goal set to know more about politics by that time." And Nathan, a 28-year-old San Diegan, seemed to follow the news but still felt unprepared:

My parents are of the generation where they actually watch the news, and they know about candidates via the news. Where my generation, the millennial generation, is getting all their news from social media like Twitter or Instagram or Facebook, and that is not always the best. Reading things through social media is snippets, and it’s not the whole details on everything, you know?

It's true that voting can seem like a daunting responsibility: There are so many issues, and so many candidates, and every person who talks about politics on television or social media sounds so sure and confident about a hundred different things. How do you know what is true and what isn't? How do you know when you know enough for your vote to be an expression of what you truly believe? It's easy for those questions to lead to paralysis, a kind of learned apathy—like Samantha, maybe you think it's better to be an informed nonvoter than an uniformed voter.

But it's not. You won't know everything, or nearly enough, and you should vote anyway. Otherwise, our society will be run by ignorant old people who do not care about your future.

A poll conducted last month by HuffPost/YouGov found that 38 percent of American adults under 30 thought only people who were "well-informed" should vote, compared to 31 percent of Americans overall—a result that lines up with the anecdotes compiled by New York. According to that poll, young people were also less likely to describe themselves as well-informed, and the split between them and seniors was especially vast: 63 percent of respondents over 65 said they were "very well-informed" and zero percent said they were "not at all well-informed."

This is obviously absurd—senior citizens are not smarter or more up to speed on the issues than young people. (One Pew survey recently found that older folks were worse at distinguishing fact from opinion than the young.) The olds' edge is not in knowledge but in being utterly confident in their ignorance. Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z make up a majority of the electorate, but Boomers and older generations vote much more frequently, and voted at higher rates even when they were the same age as younger Americans are now.

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If, like the young people New York spoke to, you are cynical, apathetic, or enraged about the current state of politics, those older voters deserve a disproportionate amount of blame. Older people do tend to be more conservative (possibly partly because poor people tend to die earlier), and less worried about climate change, according to Gallup. And though climate change is perhaps a uniquely generation issue since seniors won't be around to suffer its worst consequences, young people are far more progressive than their parents on a host of other issues, from immigration to racial discrimination. Congress won't reflect those values until young people vote in large numbers and force politicians to cater to them.

In a general election like the one coming up on Tuesday, November 6, the choice is fairly easy when it comes to congressional candidates. If you like Trump and his policies, vote Republican. If you don't like Trump—and chances are you don't if you are young—vote Democrat. It may be that you are unfamiliar with the candidates on the ballot, especially in races for more local positions like city council, and when it comes to contests where you are totally clueless, you can always leave those lines blank. There are also likely a host of voter guides from organizations and publications in your area if you want to spend a few minutes becoming informed.

But the ballot is not a test and it's impossible to fail it. If you vote for someone who it turns out you don't like, you can vote against them in a couple of years. If, like some of New York's interviewees, you realize that even though you lean left you aren't excited by your state's Democratic candidates, that's perhaps evidence that you should get more involved in the primary process and vote more often, not check out entirely. A representative democracy only represents those who participate in it. Not voting is an easy way to alienate yourself further, and feel more out of touch.

It's true that at times, the world seems designed to make it harder for young people to engage with politics. Registering to vote can involve annoying trips to the post office and dealing with a shitty government bureaucracy. In some states, voter ID laws make it difficult for college students to cast ballots. Unlike retirees, you probably have something to do on Tuesday. And the death of local news outlets has made getting information about your candidates less intuitive. As Nathan suggested in his New York interview, young people who mostly follow news through social media may be more familiar with national figures who attract press attention like Bernie Sanders and Beto O'Rourke than they are with the local politicians who actually represent them.

It's easy to skip the whole democracy thing. But though you may not be interested in politics, politics is interested in you—the people making up your federal, state, and local governments will make decisions that impact your life, whether you vote or not. If you don't vote due to whatever high-minded justification or intelligent-sounding reason, it's no different than not voting because you don't give a shit, and the result will be the same: The country will continue to be run by the same graying greedheads who brought us the Iraq War, the 2008 financial crisis, and climate change paralysis. You may vote for the wrong candidates sometimes. But you won't be doing a worse job than the people who got us in this mess.

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Now That Weed Is Legal in Canada, We Asked College Students if It's Still Cool

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Canada finally did it. Forty years after singer Peter Tosh’s immortal call to action, Canada’s about two weeks deep into the promised land of legal weed, and aside from a few hiccups—rogue dispensaries courting police raids, national cannabis shortages, and mass mail delivery delays—it’s been everything we’ve dreamed of.

On the ground, though, that’s not really the case. Now that weed is allowed, Canadians will never experience the illicit thrill of awkward, too-long conversations with their dealer, finding something—anything—to roll their few sad stems with, and puffing behind a lonely clump of trees nicknamed something along the lines of “Amsterdam.” With legalization, Canadians lose all of that, and potentially lose everything that made weed cool. (If it ever was.)

To find out if that’s true, we took to the campuses to ask students about their experience post-legalization.

Noah Bergstrom, college sophomore

VICE: Do you think weed’s a bit lame now that it’s legal?
Noah: It’s not lame because it’s legal; it’s never been lame. It’s kind of lame how it’s regulated I would say at this point because of the fact that even though it is “legal,” a lot of actual ways to smoke weed are very not legal still, and aren’t going to be legal for a long time. So that’s the only thing that’s lame about it I would say, but weed itself isn’t lame.

You’re not going to miss going to your friendly neighborhood dealer?
I still am going to go to a dealer, it’s too convenient for buying in large sample sizes, and I don’t think it’s legitimate that the government is ever going to be able to compete in that price range. At the same time, it is funny that every time I had smoked weed before legalization, it was something I wasn’t supposed to be doing… and now it’s like… it’s lost some of its charm. It’s not lame, but it has lost some charm.

Is it going to be a bit of a different feeling now that Trudeau has given you the OK?
It’s not going to be a different feeling, but it is like… it just doesn’t have that badass feel, you know what I mean? Whereas when I was in high school and I was one of the only kids that was smoking weed, now it’s like, “Oh, all the grandmas can go and smoke weed.”

So high schoolers smoking weed, they’re going to be in the same camp as their moms and dads.
I’m glad for high schoolers smoking weed, they still get to experience that novelty, whereas for me… I’m old [laughs].

What was your legalization day like?
I was really busy on legalization day, but the day before we went to this celebration thing that was supposed to be until midnight, and it was this free dabs and dab rigs show. I didn’t even stay until legalization, but when we left, we went home, and by 11:50 we were like, “Oh my God, we need to roll a joint. We can’t not be on the street smoking.” So we went outside, but it was disappointing because, you know, there weren’t even any fireworks or anything like that.

Do you think Canada’s going to get it’s own Half-Baked now?
Oh yea, I think weed and film could get even more relevant as far as it actually being legal to use and whatnot. I’m sure that changes a lot of things people using it on tv shows. It’s definitely going to hit the mainstream.

One of the main barriers, even for people our age, is that they think it’s bad because it was illegal, or they think it’s bad because of what they’ve heard. But now this gives people the ability to look into it more, and I think that’s going to be huge for these people that didn’t smoke because they thought it was bad or wrong. The people that were like, “Oh no I can’t smoke if it’s not good.”

Do you think stoner culture is going to be dead in Canada now?
Just because it’s not illegal doesn’t mean it’s going to die. I think stoner culture is completely a product of the effects of marijuana, it’s very legitimate that you smoke weed and you get the munchies, and you want to watch unintelligent comedy that’s easy to enjoy, I guess. So as far as stoner culture dying in Canada, there’s no way. More people smoke it, more people enjoy the humor and basically start eating half-baked Ben & Jerry’s and watching old Cheech & Chong movies.

But they’re not going to be badass anymore.
No, they won’t be badass. They’ll never get that feeling that I got when I was smoking weed for the first time.

And that’s a valuable thing?
Uh, yeah [laughs]. I think it’s a valuable thing. I had some different experiences just because it was illegal, and it’s kind of good stories at least. That’s valuable to me.

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