This article originally appeared on VICE UK.
Parties, famously, are fun—but often not as fun as the after-party. It's in those strange, semi-lucid hours that the weirdest stuff happens: Someone does an eye shot of cinnamon After Shock and temporarily blinds themselves; someone decides that 5 AM is the right time to have sex in front of their seven closest friends; someone intentionally tattoos themselves while in a K-hole, for fun.
For fun, we solicited after-party stories from our friends and published them all below.
– "All amateur rapping is bad, but I witnessed some profoundly bad amateur rapping. We'd been at the pub and I invited a few friends back to my place to do some lines. A friend of a friend brought his girlfriend, who was fucked and insisted on rapping literally everything she said. Dictionary definition literally. Absolute nightmare. It got to the point where the boyfriend—either embarrassed or just exhausted—tried to get them to leave, but she wasn't having it (she rapped about how she wasn't going to leave), so he walked out by himself. Five minutes later we got a call saying he'd somehow locked himself in the apartment's garbage room, whose door is right next to two other apartments. I had to go downstairs and try to break him out with a knife, while his girlfriend continued to loudly rap, at 4 AM, outside my neighbors' front doors."
– "Three guys and a girl K-holing, and the guys trying to maintain a conversation about how they're all male feminists. That was fucking painful to watch."
– "There was this guy desperately trying to get an orgy going. He kept asking people if they were down to fuck, and got rebuffed by absolutely everyone."
– "I went to a party at some fancy boarding school—the guy whose party it was is the son of a house-master there, so he lived on the school's land during holidays breaks in college. It got stupid rowdy, like people just wrecking the place for no reason, and the police were called so everyone ran away. We were trying to regroup and got a text about an 'after-party' nearby. Someone dropped a pin, so we walked the 15 minutes over and found out this 'after-party' was actually a garden shed—which was tiny—that had four fully dressed people standing with their backs against the wall, and two fully naked people fucking in the dirt. Very bizarre."
– "My friend peed on his roof, and that piss dribbled down onto the balcony we were standing on, directly onto the head of the girl standing next to me."
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