Wednesday, November 21, 2018

People Told Us About Their Most Unhinged Thanksgiving Dinner in Six Words

For many of us, spending time with our families can be challenging enough to endure on a regular day, much less during the holidays when the pressure to execute a “perfect” holiday can be overwhelming. The reality: Not everyone handles this pressure with grace. Sometimes the screw ups are our fault. Who hasn’t burned a turkey or had a little too much to drink, and said something they shouldn't have? Other times we’re innocent bystanders to the dysfunction: contentious relatives, unruly pets, all-out food fights. What’s most important is that we can laugh about the insanity now (or at least walk away in one piece with a great story to tell).

We asked friends and co-workers about their most unhinged Thanksgiving dinners. Here’s what they said.

“Clogged in-law’s garbage disposal with carrots.” - Tom, 41

“Family decided 'axe-throwing' was new tradition.” - Jamie, 23

Weed brownies

“I got my brownie batches mixed up.” - Zach, 35

“Fried turkey equals very burnt boyfriend.” - Kinsey, 35

“Grandmother shit her pants. I gagged.” - Keisha, 29

“Got drunk, peed on cop car.” - Eric, 42

“Methhead roommate washed turkey with soap.” - Eddie, 33

“Cousin brandished gun at my dad.” - Tara, 36

“Religious aunt put hex on me.” - Maria, 29

“Was appointed to cook. Burnt everything.” - Lynnie, 23

“Cat puked which made me puke.” - Kevin, 30

“Dog snatched turkey off the table.” - Mike, 18

“My in-laws microwaved the entire meal.” - Pete, 23

“Punched my brother over the wishbone.” - Dennis, 34

“Family screaming match over Harry Potter.” - Brianna, 28

“Ex got drunk, kissed my sister.” - Katie, 30

“Four words: crazy conspiracy theorist uncle.” - Jenelle, 32

“Got food poisoning from the turkey.” - Johnny, 33

“My parents took us to Arby’s.” - Louis, 40

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