Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Watch Tucker Carlson's Unhinged Rant About Eating Buttigieg Like a 'Hearty Stew'

Tucker Carlson is a man who, by all accounts, says some truly, deeply unhinged shit. There was the horny panda bit, the time he proudly told a guest to go fuck himself, and his recent tirade about how our nation's youths will soon think "9/11 was committed by white supremacists." Now, the Fox News anchor is back with a brand new, equally bizarre theory—that, uh, Democrats want to eat Pete Buttigieg like a "hearty stew" or something?

Yes, like the soup. Please, just watch:

"[Democrats] don't just want to vote for this guy. They want to consume him, like a hearty stew," Carlson says, unblinking, the words spilling from his mouth in some kind low, guttural growl. "Every last drop of Buttigieg. Yum."

But wait, you might be thinking, this is only a brief snippet. What about the whole clip? Sure, Tucker Carlson is a weird-ass dude, but maybe his creepy and strangely erotic stew comments make sense in context? The answer, of course, is no. They do not. Nothing about this makes any goddamn sense at all.

Carlson launched into his fully weird rant during a segment about how Beto O'Rourke is supposedly losing ground in favor of a "younger, hotter candidate"—Mayor Pete himself. There's some kind of supercut of various media talking heads praising Buttigieg, ending with MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace calling him "chicken soup for her soul."

Of course, Wallace is referring to those wholesome-ass books that moms in the 1990s were obsessed with, not literal food, but Carlson used the line as a jumping off point to dive into his batshit simile anyway. Is this some kind of weird, failed attempt at food humor? Or is the guy just extraordinarily hungry and dreaming of Panera? Please, get this man some lunch. He has fully lost it.

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