Thursday, January 30, 2020

The Fisting Emoji Has Arrived

Your sexting game is about to get a whole lot more literal.

The Unicode Consortium announced over 100 new emojis, which will roll out later this year, as The Verge reported on Wednesday. The forthcoming 117 emojis—62 of which are new symbols, while the remaining 55 are gender and skin-tone variants on previous characters—include a bell pepper, an accordian, a piñata, a transgender flag, a woolly mammoth, an accordion, and a plunger, though one of them stands head and shoulders—er, knuckles and wrists?—above the rest.

Introducing: the fisting emoji.

1580405360104-fisting

Her given name is “pinched fingers.” Sure, OK.

The emoji is probably supposed to represent the “ma che vuoi,” aka the Italian hand gesture for “What do you mean?” or “What do you want?” That’s just great—I love culture! But here in the United States, "pinched fingers" translates to “fisting”—or, as the Italians might say, “fistuccine.”

It’s kind of refreshing, you know? How literal it is? Usually, there’s a bit more creative effort involved in turning an innocent-on-its-face emoji into something totally filthy, e.g., the eggplant means dick, the peach means ass, and the empty airline seat means “I’m dead inside” (at least to me). The fisting emoji just is what it is: a hand prepped and ready to slide on in and make itself at home! Sexually!

All we need now is a Crisco emoji. Get on it, Unicode!

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