Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Man Climbs Tree, Doesn't Come Down, Becomes Internet Hero

Photo via Instagram user Jonathan Stutz

I don't know when America broke, but everyone knows that it's broken. Our bridges are crumbling, our water is poisoned, our young people are in debt, our cities have been decimated by the cold math of economics, and one of our leading presidential candidates foments hate and fear wherever he goes. We have Netflix and the internet and smartphones, but this just makes our broader misery worse, somehow—if we can make it possible to watch Better Call Saul on a tiny glowing rectangle anytime we want, can't we do anything about the waves of poverty and despair crashing into us? You feel it in your bones that someone ought to do something, but who or what is just a mist in your mind; thinking about it for too long makes you clench with an anger that you can't do anything with. It's enough to make you want to climb a tree, just climb and climb and climb until you can't anymore and then sit there, yelling things that no one can understand.

In downtown Seattle yesterday, that's exactly what one guy did. And he's still up there.

According to local news channel KIRO 7, this guy began clambering up an 80-foot sequoia in the heart of Seattle around 11 AM local time Tuesday, and has refused to come down. No one seems to know who he is, why he's up there, or (most importantly) how to get him down. The police have approached him, but he responded by throwing apples at them. Then, when he ran out of apples, he threw sticks and pinecones.

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