Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Watch Venom Growl About Turds in the New 'Venom' Trailer

So far, the first couple of Venom trailers have given us Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock, a bunch of Eddie Brock's emo voiceover, and a few shots of Venom himself in all his giant, slimy, bizarrely erotic glory. But while those Venom clips offered plenty to fantasize about, one thing was sorely missing: poop jokes.

Thankfully, that all changed Tuesday with the latest Venom trailer. The three-minute clip is our most exciting look at the movie yet—there are some fight scenes that give Venom a chance to show off his goopy punching abilities; a brief clip introducing Riz Ahmed's symbiote villain, Riot; and a bunch more waggling tongues. But the gritty and serious tone takes a really strange left-turn right at the trailer's end, when Venom, uh, starts talking about poop.

"We will eat both your arms and then both of your legs, and then we will eat your face right off of your head," Venom threatens a would-be convenience store thief, before somehow putting a poop-related spin on the whole thing.

"You will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you?" the slimy, hulking Venom continues, as the dude quakes before him, "rolling down the street... like a turd in the wind."

Of course, the thief doesn't have much time to stop and question what exactly that means, because pretty soon after Venom just up and eats his face. Still, the scene leaves us with a lot of questions: First of all, what's so scary about "a turd in the wind"? Did Eddie Brock—a journalist—pick that line up somewhere and actually think it would work, or was it just off the fly? The Venom symbiote is a sentient space goop that turns a hapless Eddie Brock into a giant killing machine, but apparently, the its powers don't extend to crafting decent threats.

Venom drops October 5, so get ready for more vaguely sinister references to dookie once fall rolls around. All turds aside, the trailer looks pretty great.

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