Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Now Some Good News: Danny DeVito Says He Has No Plans to Retire from Acting

And now, for a small sliver of good news amid the ever-growing sea of shit: Danny DeVito says he has no plans to ever retire from acting, Metro UK reports.

The 73-year-old It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia star is currently making the rounds to promote his upcoming animated children's film, Smallfoot. While promoting the film at San Sebastian International Film Festival in Spain recently, DeVito was honored with a well-deserved lifetime achievement award. But don't take that as a sign that the guy's acting career is anywhere near over.

"I am not going to retire," DeVito reportedly said in an interview with the Press Association. "Do actors retire? Maybe they do. I have never heard of an actor retiring."

Of course, uh, actors retire all the time—Liam Neeson is apparently done with action movies, Daniel Day-Lewis said that Phantom Thread would be his final film, and Robert Redford recently announced his retirement, too—but apparently, DeVito is too busy living on the fringe to pay attention to any of that news. No one correct him, please. We don't want him to get any ideas.

DeVito has been one of the greatest and most beloved actors since the 1970s, from dicking around with McMurphy in Cuckoo's Nest to running cabs on Taxi to appearing in 2 Live Crew music videos and spending his golden years boiling denim on It's Always Sunny. Oh, and he also once saved saved Michael Douglas's life by literally sucking snake venom from the guy's hand like some kind of tiny Rambo, and came for Antonin Scalia on Twitter back in 2013. Needless to say, the man is a true American hero.

What other great roles will he grace us with in the years to come? Will he reunite with Arnold for that long-awaited sequel to Twins? Will he reprise his role as that evil-ass alien boss in the new Space Jam? Or maybe just continue to knife his toes and play Nightcrawlers on It's Always Sunny until the end of time?

Whatever he decides to do, it sounds like we'll continue to be graced with his increasingly crazed Larry-style curls and beautiful, bowling ball physique until his glorious spirit finally flees his corporeal form and goes on to feast on rum ham in the afterlife. We need that strangely reassuring grin now more than ever. Who else will we take to prom? Please: Don't retire, bitch.

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