Thursday, October 3, 2019

A Brief History of Gwyneth Paltrow Not Remembering Things She's Done

Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow's much-maligned wellness company, has a lot of products for one's wellbeing, from "dopamine bean" powder to elevate mood, to rhodiola to soothe stress, and L-theanine chews to increase one's focus. Amid all of Goop's resources for mood and "mindfulness" and all of its clothes, books, cosmetics, and $500 vibrators intended to make you feel better and boost brain function, the company doesn't quite touch the topic of memory—which is something its owner, Gwyneth Paltrow, seems to need a little help with.

Over the past few months, Paltrow's recall of some of her bigger projects has proven to be shaky at best. Here are a few of the most notable examples. Just aloof, or forgetful: you decide.

Spiderman?

In June, Netflix released the Jon Favreau-directed series The Chef Show, which centered on cameos from Favreau's celebrity friends, including his Marvel movie co-stars Tom Holland, Robert Downey Jr., and Gwyneth Paltrow. In the show's first episode, Favreau and chef Roy Choi cook a pepper pot soup with Paltrow, who starred as Pepper Potts in every Iron Man and Avengers installment, as well as in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Paltrow, however, quickly made it clear that she doesn't really recall her role in the franchise.

"Spider-Man? We weren't in Spider-Man," Paltrow said, after Favreau shared a reference to the film set. "No, I was in Avengers." It takes a little explaining about the specific Homecoming scene from Favreau before Paltrow remembers that, yes, she was in the movie. In her defense on this one, there are a lot of Marvel movies to keep up with, and getting Avengers and Homecoming mixed up could really happen to anyone who doesn't totally stan the MCU. Let's move along.

"That Guy"?

In an interview with PopSugar later that month, Tom Holland, who plays Spider-Man, acknowledged that the actress doesn't exactly remember him either, despite his titular role in, you know, the movie she was in. "I mean, I've only worked with Gwyneth one time, on Spider-Man: Homecoming—which she doesn't remember. Still to this day breaks my heart," Holland said.

Then, Holland clarified, Paltrow might actually remember him... as "that guy." He referenced an Instagram shot of himself, Robert Downey Jr., and Paltrow from the set of Avengers: Endgame, which Paltrow posted with the caption, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dear heart. Love me and that other guy in the photo." A cheeky joke, maybe—but it isn't looking great for Gwyneth's Marvel movie memory.

Sebastian Stan Who?

A few weeks later, Sebastian Stan, who played Bucky Barnes in several Marvel movies including Captain America, acknowledged that Paltrow doesn't really remember him either. A picture Stan posted to Instagram in July of him posing with Paltrow and fashion icons like Valentino Garavani and Giancarlo Giammetti included the line, "Also glad I got to reintroduce myself to @gwynethpaltrow for the third time. We are in the same film...🤷🏻‍♂️."

Hmm, but before we write that one off as just another joke, let's briefly revisit the fact that at the Avengers: Infinity War world premiere in April 2018, Paltrow was pointedly caught on video asking "who's that?" after seeing Sebastian Stan. A person, identified as Chris Pratt, then explains to her, "Sebastian Stan plays Bucky. Bucky is the Winter Soldier."


OK, but that's just Marvel...

It's a fair argument, sure, that Paltrow doesn't really care that much for the MCU and its many movies and sequels, which explains her exit from the role of Potts after Avengers: Endgame and perhaps also her vague disregard for its storylines and characters. She wants to spend her time and ashwaganda-powered mental stamina on Goop, one might say. And to that, we have yet another example.

"GP's" Goop Picks?

In a segment last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the eponymous host presented Paltrow with a selection of Goop products. Despite seeming familiarity with the first product, an "emotional detox bath soak," Paltrow seems more hazy on the rest of Kimmel's Goop selections.

In response to a fancy glass water bottle with an amethyst at its core, Paltrow isn't quite sure how to explain its purpose. "They say that amethyst, it's supposed to be heart opening or something like that," she said, with a confused look on her face. "I don't know [who says that], but it's so pretty!"

Kimmel then shows Paltrow two bottles of camel milk, which he says have been included on Goop's gift guides in the past. "Apparently it's really from camels. Are you gonna... try some?" Paltrow said in a skeptical tone, before acknowledging that she hadn't actually tried it before. "I think they purport to have some more vitamins?" Ultimately, the verdict is that the camel milk is good.

Still, one might expect Paltrow to have tried it before, given that Goop's products all come with the implicit endorsement of "GP" herself. "GP created goop to organize her unbiased travel recommendations, health-centric recipes, and shopping discoveries for friends, and also as a place to get her own questions," reads the site's About page.

We get it: Life is busy, especially when you star in an endless film franchise and run a business, and we can't all be tasked with remembering everything (especially when there are assistants for that, right?). But maybe, soon enough, there will be a tincture, chew, or powder for that—and when that time comes, we'll expect to see it right there, for sale on Goop.



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