Being a sports mascot is sweaty, exhausting work, but it's a noble job. The world needs jesters, or at least hulking beasts with googly eyes who live out extravagant slapstick routines for our pleasure. Unfortunately, being a mascot isn't all laughs and good cheer. There are the days when you accidentally shoot yourself in the crotch with a t-shirt cannon, or inadvertently nail some poor lady with a hot dog—and then there are the really bad days, when angry fans decide to take out their rage on your faux-fur flesh and you're forced to drop your fun-loving facade and fight back.
That's what happened last Friday at a Chicago Blackhawks game, when a fan allegedly started beating on the Blackhawks's mascot, Tommy Hawk—not knowing that Tommy Hawk was ready to royally kick his ass, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.
According to the cops, the fight started at Chicago's United Center hockey arena after the Blackhawks lost a match to the Winnipeg Jets in overtime. Tommy Hawk's unnamed attacker, possibly pissed about the loss or inspired by that episode of It's Always Sunny where Charlie unloads on the Philly Phanatic, allegedly started throwing punches at the mascot and put him in a headlock.
But judging by footage of the fight that circulated on social media, Tommy Hawk was the wrong giant bird to pick a fight with.
The footage picks up in the middle of the brawl, so we can't see if the guy did allegedly start the fight in the first place, but the clips prove that Tommy Hawk definitely ended it. The guy tries to get Tommy Hawk into a headlock, but the mascot easily uses his bird strength to lift the dude off his feet and brutally bodyslam him to the ground. From there, it's an obvious victory.
According to the Sun-Times, police responded to reports of the fight Friday night, but as of this weekend, no arrests have been made. A Blackhawks spokesman told the newspaper that the team is investigating the incident and "gathering the facts," but the real facts are clear—the Blackhawks may have lost on Friday night, but Tommy Hawk won the night. Gritty better watch his ass next time the Hawks play the Flyers.
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