Someone Needs to Claim Their $758 Million Lottery Ticket

Somewhere in Massachusetts, the statistically-certified luckiest person in America just became a multi-millionaire.

According to ABC News, a convenience store in Chicopee, Massachusetts, sold the winning ticket for the second-largest lottery jackpot in US history: a whopping $758.7 million Powerball. But whoever's about to start living like Adam Sandler in Mr. Deeds still hasn't stepped up to collect their prize.

The winning numbers were six, seven, 16, 23, and 26, and the Powerball number—the linch pin—was four. Whoever just scooped up enough money to buy 2,500 Rolls Royces had to match all six numbers, and they were the only one that pulled it off—earning them the largest grand prize won by a single ticket in American history. (The biggest jackpot—a $1.6 billion prize—had to be split between three people in January of last year.) Wednesday's lucky, unidentified winner now has to decide whether they'll take a lump sum of $443 million after taxes, or opt for yearly installments over the next three decades to get their hands on the full $758.7 million. Most folks choose the former.

Powerball announced the winning ticket was sold at the Handy Variety convenience store in Watertown, Massachusetts, before going back on their find: It was actually printed off at a different store in Chicopee. They mystery winner overcame odds of 1 in 292.2 million—but they weren't the only one to strike gold. According to the Powerball website, six tickets won $2 million a piece, and 34 others won $1 million—not to mention the roughly $135 million in smaller prizes won by 9,397,724 people scattered across the US.

Wednesday's big winner still hasn't come forward, and while they're not legally allowed to remain anonymous in Massachusetts, it's easy to understand why they might be hesitating. The annals of jackpot history are filled with horror stories: folks getting killed for their cash, blowing all their money at the casino, and generally seeing their lives spiral into a dark, bountiful mess.

If whoever just won plays their cards right, though, things could turn out OK. And if that person happens to be you, here's a guide to how not to fuck it up.

Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.

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